Having a random hookup so left but love u
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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