You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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