Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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