Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
