Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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