I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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