called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
