Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
