What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My day in three words: secret purse cake
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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