he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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