You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize