hell yes lets make some ravioli
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
