it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
