This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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