More tranny stories later!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
