North Korea, Best Korea!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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