**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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