Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
