and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
