Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The air was thick with penises
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
