All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
