You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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