i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize