i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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