Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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