I think i peed on brittanys purse
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
