cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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