mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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