his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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