matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
