Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
