i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
