She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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