my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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