Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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