i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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