I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
