hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
