I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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