After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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