I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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