You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
