ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize