There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
