i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
