Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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