I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
