So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
