he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
