Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I want a musical about memes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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