i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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