Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame