Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.