Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3902) Bad night (679)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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  (304): tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out http://tfl.nu/97pi
  Replies (9) Good night (1194) Bad night (5499)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?

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  (509): Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"? http://tfl.nu/n4zp
  Replies (22) Good night (1350) Bad night (7577)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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  (617): You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias. http://tfl.nu/4ikl
  Replies (8) Good night (5936) Bad night (1102)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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  (347): Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes. http://tfl.nu/qm7s
  Replies (12) Good night (2466) Bad night (1427)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.

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  (913): Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/4gbf
  Replies (17) Good night (1139) Bad night (3436)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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  (203): The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man. http://tfl.nu/yftr
  Replies (5) Good night (3547) Bad night (1275)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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  (517): My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough http://tfl.nu/k0hj
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (1615)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no

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  (720): You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no http://tfl.nu/o8fg
  Replies (3) Good night (2332) Bad night (552)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms

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  (440): i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms http://tfl.nu/a43l
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (862)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.

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  (309): Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me. http://tfl.nu/u3mn
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (264)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist

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  (406): I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist http://tfl.nu/rhd5
  Replies (0) Good night (689) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.

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  (724): I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick. http://tfl.nu/1sdq
  Replies (9) Good night (829) Bad night (246)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.

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  (818): I think my AA sponsor just booty called me. http://tfl.nu/z94l
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (370)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes

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  (802): Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes http://tfl.nu/zv2h
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (228)

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