Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize