walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
