he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
