Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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