My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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