omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
