drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
