WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
