what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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