yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
